


Regrets

by bromfieldhall



Category: Castle
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-10
Updated: 2011-04-10
Packaged: 2018-02-17 12:28:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2309663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bromfieldhall/pseuds/bromfieldhall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castle leaves Beckett and the precinct but is everything really as it seems?  </p><p>Picks up at the end of Season Two finale, "A Deadly Game," then goes AU from there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: "Castle" is copyrighted to ABC Productions. I retain rights to the plot, but not the characters. This story is meant for enjoyment purposes only. No infringement is intended.

"See you in the fall?" Detective Kate Beckett asked as she watched the famous crime writer, Richard Castle, walk away from her with his ex-wife, Gina.

The brunette cringed inwardly as, even to her own ears, it sounded as if she where actually saying, "Call me?"

It took him a couple of seconds to look over his shoulder and respond. "See you in the fall," he confirmed softly with a smile before turning away.

She watched him and Gina continue down the corridor until they reached the elevator, then looked away. Head bent, she internally berated herself as she willed her tears not to fall. How could she have taken so long to see what was right in front of her all this time?

Goodness knows enough people had told her that Castle cared for her but she'd refused to listen.

She looked up along the hallway again, but Castle had gone. For how long though? That was the question that kept spinning around and around in her head. Was he really coming back in the fall?

Or had he just walked out of her life for good?

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

Richard Castle stepped into the elevator and let out the breath he hadn't realised that he'd been holding. He jabbed the button for the ground level, then leant back against the cold metal wall and turned to his ex-wife, giving her a small smile.

"Thanks for helping me out, Gina," he said as he leaned down and gave her a soft peck on the cheek. "I owe you one."

"Just finish this book, that'll be payback enough," the blonde informed him wryly. She moved away and pulled out her phone to check for messages. Task done, she looked over at her ex and, at the sight of his downcast face, she felt a pang of pity tug at her heart.

"I thought the way I held possessively onto your arm was a nice touch," she suddenly commented with a chuckle as she tried to lighten the atmosphere.

Castle looked up at her and gave her a smile that didn't quite reach his blue eyes. "You've still got a strong grip, I almost couldn't shake her hand."

"Yeah, well, it had to be believable otherwise what's the point, right?" she said with a shrug of her shoulders. "You wanted me to play the doting girlfriend and I did. Now, are you going to tell me why? Was it just to make Beckett jealous or have things got a little too personal between the two of you and you're running away in true Castle fashion?"

Castle stared at his ex-wife in irritation. "I'm not running away, it's just a…a strategic withdrawal," he explained brusquely. At the blondes' challenging glare, Castle visibly deflated and admitted quietly, "I just couldn't spend another day watching Kate and Demming fawning all over each other, OK? Not when I…"

He stopped and looked away, unable to finish the sentence out loud. He'd barely had a chance to put a name to the emotion that raged through his system as it was, let alone admit such a thing to his ex-wife of all people.

If he hadn't realised the depth of his feelings before Demming had come along, he was in no doubt of them now. And with that knowledge came an urge to do the honourable thing and stand aside. It was then that he'd known exactly how far deep in he was because it hadn't been something he'd ever been prepared to do for either of his ex-wives or any of his other, and there had been many, relationships.

'The heart wants what the heart wants,' was a saying that he often spouted never realising that it'd one day apply to him. Unfortunately, Beckett's heart wanted someone else, which was why he'd ended up calling Gina. He just couldn't resist trying one last time to see if Beckett would say something to him, anything that might give him some reason to stay.

But she hadn't.

He'd hoped that he'd be able to spot some kind of jealousy or, better yet, she'd see him with someone else and suddenly declare her own undying love for him. Alas, apart from looking surprised at seeing Gina, it'd just been the normal pleasantries that you'd say to any work colleague when they left. Then, when she'd called after him, it'd taken all of his composure to school his features to a nonchalant expression before turning to agree that he'd see her again in the fall. He honestly didn't know if he would go back but he couldn't resist that one last look at her before he left.

A little bell dinged to announce their arrival at the ground floor and the elevator door slid open. He pushed away from the back of the car and looked over at Gina who was eyeing him consideringly. He knew he'd given himself away but was too tired to try and hide it any longer.

They headed out of the precinct and into the warm night air looking for a cab.

"You know, if it's any consolation, Rick; Beckett did look quite upset to see me," Gina told him with a small smile.

"More like shock," he corrected wryly. "I haven't exactly kept it a secret that we didn't get along, but I appreciate you trying to make me feel better." He shrugged. "I just hoped that you'd be her wake-up call like Demming was to me. I guess I was wrong."

"I'm sorry," Gina said, sympathetically.

Castle smiled and leaned in to give her another kiss on the cheek. "Don't be. Silver lining is that I'm going to the Hamptons and finishing the book. A little broken heart will only fuel the creative process."

"Good," replied Gina, taking his cue and becoming all business again. "Because if it doesn't, I may well have to join you in the Hamptons after all."

Castle looked horrified at the thought. "I'll have a full draft to you in three weeks, I promise," he swore, hurriedly.

Gina merely smiled and shook her head as she climbed into the cab that had just stopped for Castle's hail. "I'll call you soon," she told him before being sped away.

Castle stared after the cab then turned and looked back at the precinct. He raised his gaze to the floor that Beckett and the team were on and stared at the lights shining from the windows for a long moment before slowly walking away.

Deep down he knew he'd return eventually. No matter how much he railed against the notion that he'd go back, he knew it was a lost cause. Like a moth to a flame, he wouldn't be able to keep away from her no matter how much he got burned.

He was in love.

He didn't have a choice.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

In the hallway, Kate Beckett turned and looked at the four sympathetic faces that stared back at her from the briefing room where they'd just had the small leaving party for Castle. Her work colleagues and friends had just witnessed her stuttering attempts at trying to reveal her feelings and she found their pity more than she could bear.

With a brief smile of acknowledgement, she straightened up then turned away and walked back over to her desk where she sat down. After shuffling a few papers on her desk, she picked up a file and opened it to read. Work would be the best thing for her now. Work always helped when she had to deal with anything vaguely emotional in her life and today would be no different.

Except it was.

Try as she might, her mind kept replaying what Castle had said to her when he'd delivered the shocking news that he wanted a break…

"I thought that this would be our last case."

The words, coupled with his deadly serious expression, had almost taken her breath away at the time and now they returned to haunt her. He'd made it sound so…final. She hadn't known how to respond then and she still didn't know what to make of it all now.

Everything had happened so quickly.

Her colleague, Javier Esposito was the first one to place doubts in her mind that Castle would return. He'd pointed out that the author had done more than enough research for his books and hinted that the writer was leaving because he didn't want to see her with another man.

But it was her boss, Captain Montgomery, who had been the one to inadvertently open her eyes to her own feelings by commenting on the case they'd just closed. He'd said that it was sad that a man had to die just because people were too scared to say how they really felt. It had struck a chord within her and when she'd spied the handsome author walking towards her seconds later, she'd suddenly realised that she'd been doing exactly that with Castle.

She was scared, plain and simple.

Scared of letting him get too close.

Scared of admitting to herself that she harboured such strong feelings for him.

Scared that if she did let him in…he'd end up hurting her far more than any other man had ever done.

And that's why she'd hooked up with Demming. Handsome, easy going, dependable…nice. The other detective was someone who'd never hurt her because she'd never let him get that close. And he was the type of man who'd be happy with that…unlike Richard Castle, who would probe and pry and push every damn button that she possessed until he found everything out about her and then some.

The thing was, once she knew that the writer was leaving, the fear of never seeing him again suddenly made all her other fears crumble to dust. She'd made the decision to break up with Demming then tell Castle how she felt.

But she'd been too late.

He was back with his ex-wife, Gina. How the hell that had happened she still didn't know. They didn't like each other then, after one conversation, they're suddenly in love again? It didn't make sense but she was too tired to try and figure it out.

A shadow fell across her desk and she looked up to see her best friend, the local Medical Examiner, Lanie Parrish standing there.

"You OK?" her friend asked without preamble.

"I'm fine," Beckett replied automatically, as she returned her attention to the file she was holding.

Lanie watched the detective apparently become engrossed in her paperwork and let out a harsh sigh.

"You know, it is OK to be upset," the Medical Examiner pointed out archly. "Hell, I'm upset that Writer Boy is back with his ex and I'm not even in love with the man!"

"Who said anything about love?" Beckett exclaimed in surprise.

"Uh, you do, every damn time you look at him," Lanie chided lightly.

Giving up the pretence, Beckett put the folder down and looked up at her friend. "It doesn't matter, Lanie, he's back with Gina now," she said in a defeated tone.

"Oh, please," the Medical Examiner scoffed. "Honey, there's a reason she's his ex! They won't last a month. Besides," she added as she turned to leave, "he's only with her because you were with Demming. Once he knows that's over, he'll be back here quicker than I cut up a corpse."

"Nice," Beckett commented as wrinkled her nose a little in disgust.

Lanie merely grinned and walked away, leaving the detective to ponder her friends' words. It was all very well saying that Castle would return if he knew about the state of her relationship, but could she actually do that to him? He was obviously trying to make a go of it with Gina again. He hadn't wanted to come between her and Demming, so she could at least afford him the same respect, however much it pained her.

There was also still a tiny part of her that couldn't help but be fearful of the possibility that if she did let him know that she was unattached, he still wouldn't return…and that was something, she found, that she just wasn't ready to risk. She wanted to keep the comfort of thinking she still had a chance with him.

No, if or when, as Lanie seemed to think, it didn't work out, he'd return and then she'd say something.

She could wait.

She didn't have a choice.

END CHAPTER ONE


	2. Chapter 2

Delete. Delete. Delete. Delete. Delete.

Castle scowled as his finger jabbed repetitively on the laptop key that erased text one letter at a time. What had started out as merely the deletion of a couple of words had ended up being the erasure of over half the page.

With a muttered oath, he suddenly highlighted the rest of the chapter and hit delete one more time before angrily slamming the laptop shut. He was going insane!

The quiet solitude of his house on the beach was proving more of a distraction than if he'd stayed in New York. He found the silence oppressive and had taken to putting the TV on in the background just to have some noise. But it still hadn't worked.

He just couldn't seem to concentrate on anything, especially his book. Every time he wrote a paragraph about Nikki Heat, it automatically brought to mind Kate Beckett, which then led to him thinking of her with Demming and always seemed to culminate in him torturing himself with images of them together in the beach hut they'd booked for their getaway.

Being a writer, there weren't many scenarios he couldn't imagine and he'd dutifully sat through every one as though each were a punishment for not declaring his feelings for the detective sooner.

Fed up with the way his mind was beginning to wander yet again, he decided to go for a walk. Maybe the fresh air would do him some good today. It hadn't worked any of the previous four days that he'd taken a stroll, but he figured that if he kept trying, law of averages meant that someday soon it would.

Kicking his shoes off, he headed outside into the sun and thrust his hands deep into the pockets of his beige cotton trousers. His loose, white shirt was casually unbuttoned down to the middle of his stomach, revealing a good expanse of tanned flesh to the bright sun.

The sand was hot beneath his feet but he barely registered the heat as he sauntered aimlessly along the beach. Beside him the sea came into shore in gentle waves, the sun glinting off the rippling ocean as it constantly moved. He stopped for a moment then bent down and rolled the legs of his trousers up before continuing on. Moving down to the shoreline, he relished the feel of the cool water as it lapped unceasingly at his feet.

Why had doing the noble thing for once in his life left him feeling so…miserable? Wasn't knowing you'd done the right thing meant to make you feel good about yourself? Not this feeling of regret that kept persistently gnawing at his guts, making him feel permanently sick.

He smiled to himself wryly. In spite of how he felt, when it came down to it, Beckett was happy and that's all he honestly, really cared about. It was just a shame that he hadn't been the man to make her so.

Deep down he knew that his feelings of regret were directed solely at himself and his own little pity party because he'd failed to declare his feelings.

It was all his own fault and he knew it.

Staring out to sea, he tried to allow his surroundings to work their magic. The peaceful tranquillity of the beach was only broken by the sound of the ocean that continually ebbed and flowed. It should have been a soothing and relaxing noise. Instead it merely mocked him.

'Fool', it seemed to chant, each rolling wave taunting him over and over again. 'Fool'.

And he was a fool. Even now, although he knew that Beckett was with another man, the urge to return to her was strong…almost overpowering in its intensity. He had hoped that he'd be able to stay away for at least two months. One month at worst…but five days?

It was pathetic.

He was pathetic.

The problem was that last couple of days he'd been thinking about what Gina had said about Beckett seeming upset at seeing them together. It had given him a hope that he hadn't dared think was possible and he'd tried everything to dampen it down. He knew that he was clutching at straws but that didn't stop him wondering whether, maybe, Beckett had been about to say something more than she did. The few rational parts of his brain that remained kept telling him that he was being ridiculous, that he was merely looking for something that wasn't there – but still, he couldn't seem to let it go.

He suddenly pulled his phone out of his pocket and stared at it contemplatively. Should he call her? All he wanted was to hear her voice. It wouldn't be wrong for him just to check in and see how they were all doing, right? He could use the excuse that he was interested to know if they'd had any unusual cases come up.

He frowned and shook his head. He was the one who'd made the grand gesture of leaving, he'd look stupid calling her after only five days. He sighed heavily and grimaced slightly.

"Don't be an ass, Castle, she's probably not even back from her weekend delight yet," he muttered to himself, peevishly.

He moved to put the phone away but, unfortunately, just missed his pocket. As his grip loosened, he realised the mistake and tried to stop the inevitable, but the phone slipped from his grasp.

"No, no, no, no, no!" he cried as he lunged blindly for the offending object.

He felt his finger clip the phone, then watched in dismay as the device somersaulted down towards the ground as if in slow motion.

Plop!

Splash!

"Dammit!" he exclaimed as he quickly bent down to retrieve the phone just as another wave hit the shore.

Grabbing the phone, he held it up and gave it a good shake to try and flick off any excess liquid. When there were no more drops, he touched the screen a few times but to no avail. The salty water had done its job and after a few flickerings of colours and shapes, the screen suddenly went blank. Typical. He hadn't even had a chance to play that new racing app he'd recently downloaded.

With a heavy sigh he pocketed the phone and turned back to the house. It wasn't a complete disaster, he had a landline he could use, but Beckett didn't know the number. Not that she'd call…but, even so, it bothered him that she might and he'd not know about it.

He went back inside and over to the telephone. He needed to call Gina to let her know to call the house rather than his mobile if she wanted him. He picked it up then pushed a button and listened for the dial tone.

Unbelievably, there was nothing! Nada. Zilch. It was completely dead.

"Great," he muttered unhappily as he placed the phone back down on its base then lifted the handset and tried again. Still nothing. He checked all the connections and made sure it was plugged in then tried one more time but there was still no sound.

Obviously, the universe was trying to tell him something he thought to himself wryly. Grabbing his car keys from the table, he checked he had some change then headed out the door to try and find a callbox.

xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx

Beckett sauntered around the store hoping to find inspiration from the many items of clothing on display. She had been getting some lunch and had decided to try and find something for Lanies' birthday the following week.

It had only been five days since Castle had left but it felt more like fifty to her. She hadn't realised she'd miss him quite as much as she had. Then, a couple of nights before, she'd engaged in a whole lot of soul searching whilst downing a few glasses of wine and come to the conclusion that she more than just had feelings for Castle…she was positively head over heels.

Once she'd acknowledged that little epiphany to herself, she found she welcomed the emotion far more easily than she'd expected. Of course, the fact that he wasn't around at the moment and was romantically involved with someone else, actually made it easier for her to accept because she wasn't able to act upon those feelings – hence, she was still safe in her own little emotional world.

That didn't stop her thinking about him though. Or of what he was doing with Gina on that lovely beach he'd shown her in that picture. She felt a rush of jealousy against the pretty blonde and tried to stamp it down. It worked for a few seconds but then her brain started asking questions she really didn't want the answers to.

Then, as if her force of will had suddenly conjured her up, she saw the object of her envy standing not more than a couple of feet away.

"Gina? What are you doing here?" she queried in surprise as she approached the blonde haired woman. "I thought you were away."

Gina started slightly at hearing her name and looked at the other woman in shock. Beckett was the last person she'd expected to see in an upmarket store such as this one. She felt her cheeks warm slightly under the police womans' scrutiny and pasted a false smile on her face as she wondered how she was going to get out of the situation without giving Castle away.

"Detective Beckett, what a pleasant surprise," Gina finally replied in a tone that contradicted her friendly words. She looked back at the rack in front of her and pretended interest in the clothes there as she added with as much off-handedness as she could muster, "I…uh…I had to come back for a couple of days to…um…to sort out a problem with another author."

Beckett nodded her understanding but eyed the other woman curiously. She'd noticed the lack of eye contact and heightened colour on Gina's cheeks and knew she was wasn't telling the truth.

So what did that mean? Was Lanie right? Had they broken up already?

She didn't dare hope it was true.

"So, I guess you'll be going back soon?" Beckett said with a smile as equally fake as Gina's. "Castle showed me a picture of the beach there. Must be hard to keep him focussed on work at a place like that? I hope it hasn't caused any problems between you?"

Gina looked at her sharply, then straightened up a little as the meaning of the other woman's words became clear. She'd been right after all when she'd thought Beckett looked upset at the precinct. The other woman did care, but obviously not enough to dump her boyfriend. Well, she wasn't going to allow her to interfere with her ex-husband now…not until he'd finished his book at least.

"Don't worry, Detective," she said haughtily, "I can assure you that Rick and I are doing just fine. A little relaxation by the beach does wonders for a person, you should know that."

"Excuse me?" Beckett questioned tersely. Gina's sudden turn around had caught her off guard.

"Oh, come on, Detective, don't act coy. Rick told me that you were off to enjoy a little fun in the sun yourself," Gina told her archly before frowning slightly as another thought struck her. "Shouldn't you still be away with…what's his name? Schlemming!"

"Demming," Beckett automatically corrected. "And it's none of your business."

This time it was the brunette's turn to look away causing Gina to eye her suspiciously. She'd only been trying to deflect the policewoman's questions but it appeared as though she'd stumbled onto something that the other woman didn't want to talk about.

"You didn't go, did you?" the blonde guessed shrewdly. "What happened? Did he dump you?"

"No!" the detective responded immediately, "I broke up with him!" She paused and took a breath immediately regretting her words. How could she have blurted it out like that? She'd tried to stop herself but the urge to correct the annoying woman had been too strong to ignore. Now she was bound to tell Castle and then what would happen? Would he contact her like Lanie thought? Or would it be her worst nightmare and he'd simply ignore her?

She felt a sense of panic start to build in her chest as she realised the situation was out of her control. Glancing down, she looked at her watch and saw that her lunch break was over. "I've got to go. Tell Castle I said, Hi."

With that, she turned and left as quickly as she could not even bothering with pleasantries.

Gina watched the brunette go and smiled. So, the good detective had split up with the cop after all. Maybe she did care for Rick more than the blonde had realised. Her smile faded. That wasn't actually a good thing as far as she was concerned – not if she wanted that book finished on time.

Gina left the store and headed back to her office. She'd just sat down when her phone rang. It was Castle.

"How's the book coming?" she queried once the greetings were out of the way.

"Good. Really good," Castle lied before quickly changing the subject and explaining why he had called. "Listen, my cell's broken and my landline seems to have a fault on it. Do you think you could report it for me and arrange to have someone come out and fix it?"

"Sure thing. Leave it with me," the blonde replied before adding curiously, "How did you break your cell? You love that thing."

Castle sighed and crossed his fingers as he prepared to lie again. "I was trying out a new app and I accidentally dropped it in the ocean."

Gina made the appropriate sympathetic noises and, after promising to contact his daughter, Alexis, and mother, Martha, so that they wouldn't worry, she said that would sort things out.

Castle thanked her and rang off.

Gina put down her phone and quickly dismissed the pang of guilt she felt at having not told Castle about Beckett's unattached status. She knew how he felt about the detective, even if he hadn't actually voiced the feelings aloud. She also knew that he'd high tail it back to New York as soon as he got the news, which really wasn't conducive to finishing the book…and the book was the most important thing right now.

Checking her cell, she made the calls to Alexis and Martha assuring them both that everything was fine and to contact her if there were any problems.

After that, she pressed the intercom on her desk and buzzed through to her assistant. "Hold all calls from Rick until I tell you otherwise," she instructed firmly. "No matter what he says, I'm not here, OK?"

Upon receiving the affirmative, she turned to the pile of work she had sitting on the other side of her desk and picked up the top piece of paper. Settling back more comfortably in her chair, she began to read. She'd said she'd report his line and she would.

It just wouldn't be today.

END CHAPTER 2


	3. Chapter 3

After her meeting with Gina, Beckett returned to her desk in a less than happy mood. Luckily for her, but not so much for the victim, it wasn't long before the phone rang and an officer was telling her that they'd found a body.

It ended up not being a particularly difficult case but by the time they'd actually gathered enough evidence to apprehend their suspect and she'd completed all the paperwork a few days had passed.

The case had given her some respite from all the thinking she'd been doing about Castle, which she welcomed. At the same time, it hadn't escaped her notice that he hadn't called either. She supposed that maybe Gina hadn't told him about her suddenly unattached status, but that didn't seem possible. The ex Mrs. Castle and herself had never been friends. And she definitely seemed to be the type of female who relished seeing another woman's misfortune when it came to men.

So that meant that Lanie had been wrong. Castle obviously wasn't as interested as she'd thought. The disappointment was sickening, as she'd known it would be. All her hopes of them possibly getting together were fading rapidly by the minute.

"Hey, Beckett, a body's dropped a couple of blocks from here," Esposito suddenly said, interrupting her thoughts. "You want us to go check it out for you?"

She looked up to see both Ryan and Esposito standing in front of her desk looking a little uncomfortable. She frowned.

"No, I think I can handle it," she replied sardonically as she gathered her things together and stood up.

The two men glanced at each other. "It's a robbery/homicide," Ryan supplied awkwardly. "Demming's in on this one as well."

Beckett paused briefly, a pained expression crossing her face momentarily before she got control and adopted an impassive guise. She hadn't seen the other detective since they'd broken up and wasn't sure how he'd be with her. She hadn't really given him the most explanatory of reasons why she didn't want to see him any more but, that aside, she hoped he'd be as professional about the case as she intended to be.

"That's not a problem," she told the two men firmly. "Let's go."

xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx

Castle finished the chapter he'd been working on and sat back to proof read it. Without the temptation of a phone to hand, he'd found that he had no alternative but to actually write something. He didn't feel it was his best work, but as long as he got the bare bones of what he wanted to say down, he'd flesh out the narrative and tweak the details later.

Once he'd finished reading, he decided to go out and give Gina another call. He'd tried to contact her a couple of times already but each time her assistant had told him that she was unavailable. It was frustrating the hell out of him because it had been nearly a week now and he still didn't have a working phone. If he didn't know better, he'd think that Gina was avoiding him and deliberately not getting his phone fixed!

Reaching the callbox, he placed his call and again got through to Gina's assistant.

"I'm sorry Mr. Castle but she's un…"

"Unavailable! What a surprise," the writer cut in derisively before shaking his head in annoyance and asking, "Can you tell me if she's reported my line at least?"

"Um…uh…"

Castle raised his gaze heavenwards at the stutterings coming down the line at him and found his patience to have finally evaporated. "Fine, I'll take that as a 'no' then."

Without waiting for a response, he slammed the handset down and let out a grunt of exasperation. A pang of remorse at his actions hit him and he made a mental note to send Gina's assistant some flowers upon his return. It wasn't her fault.

Obviously he was going to have to deal with the problem himself. He just wasn't sure where to start. Picking up the phone again, he dialled the operator and went from there. Twenty minutes later he'd finally spoken to the people who dealt with his line and secured a promise that they would send someone out to fix it the next day. As he'd suspected, they hadn't had any previous report of the problem from Gina and his irritation towards his ex-wife rapidly changed to anger. What if something had happened to him and he couldn't get word out? Or worse, what if something had happened to Alexis? He'd have a long discussion with Gina about this when he got back. He wasn't happy at all.

While he was at the box, he made a quick call to Alexis to check that everything was alright and to let her know that she'd be able to contact him direct the following day all being well.

Once he'd hung up from the call, he stared at the phone undecided what to do next. Should he call Beckett? He'd asked himself the same question each time he'd been to the callbox and each time he'd managed to walk away without embarrassing himself.

Today, though, was different. His ire towards Gina had given him a 'to hell with the consequences' attitude and before his brain even registered what he was doing, he'd punched in the detectives' work number and the line was ringing.

"Detective Beckett's phone; Demming speaking," a mans voice said when the call was answered.

Castles' greeting died on his lips as his stomach fell. Without a word, he replaced the handset and sighed heavily. He didn't know why he was so surprised. They were an item after all, he should've expected it, but that didn't stop the hurt. With a heavy heart he returned to his car and went home.

xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx

"Who was that?" asked Beckett as she walked back to her desk. She'd seen Demming replace the handset and was naturally curious as to who had called.

The other detective shrugged. "They just put the phone down without saying anything. Probably a wrong number."

Beckett frowned. "That's the third one today. Maybe someone has a lead on the case and are too frightened to go through with it," she mused aloud before calling over to her colleague on the next desk. "Esposito, can you get a trace done on my line? I need it as soon as possible."

"On it," her friend replied.

Beckett turned back to Demming and handed him a piece of paper. "We got a hit off of one of those names you found. I'm going to check it out. Do you want to come with me?"

"Sure," he replied with a smile. He'd missed her and had been waiting for an opportunity to spend some time with her again. He wasn't about to blow this chance at getting her back.

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Castle dropped his car keys on the kitchen table then turned his laptop on and busied himself putting a pot of coffee on to brew while he waited for it to boot up. The morose feeling that had gripped him since he'd heard Demming's voice had somehow managed to transform itself into an idea for a dark twist for his next chapter that he just had to get down.

His fingers flew over the keyboard as the words flowed out of him at an alarming rate. Apparently a broken heart was fuel for his creative process after all.

He just wished it didn't have to hurt quite so much.

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Beckett sat down at her desk and let out a huff of frustration. The lead they'd chased up had, indeed, been very good. So good that they'd nearly caught the guy that did it but he'd managed to elude them at the last minute. It was only be a matter of time before they got him, but the longer it went on, the more time she'd have to spend with Demming and that was something she now really wanted to avoid.

Although awkward at first, they'd soon worked as well together as they had before and she'd actually been relieved to think that they could be friends. It had soon become apparent during the course of their investigation that afternoon though, that Demming had other ideas.

She'd tried to tell him nicely that she wasn't interested but he seemed to ignore it. In the end she'd just told him outright that she had feelings for someone else. He asked if it were Castle but she'd refused to discuss it any further with him. He hadn't liked it and she'd mentally decided that once she got back to the precinct she'd hand the case over to Esposito and Ryan to finish up.

The men had taken it on without a word for which she was grateful. Now sitting at her desk, she was preparing to finish the paperwork for her part of the investigation when she noticed a sheet of paper on top. Picking it up, she realised it was the list of numbers from her phone trace. She'd forgotten all about it. She was just going to get up and hand it back to her colleagues in case it was of help, when her gaze locked onto one of the addresses.

It was a callbox in the Hamptons.

Her heart begun to thud heavier as she immediately thought, 'Castle!' He was the only one it could be. But why had he used a callbox? Was he in trouble? Or did he not want her to know it was him?

With a slight shake of her head she pulled out her cell and hit speed dial for his number. It went straight to voicemail. She ended the call then frowned slightly before turning to her computer and tapping rapidly on the keyboard. A few minutes later, she found the details she was searching for and smiled as she made a note on her writing pad. Castles' address in the Hamptons. It wasn't the most honest use of her rank but she told herself that the author could be in trouble and so it was the 'right thing to do' as she needed to speak to him.

Using her cell again, she dialled the writer's ex-directory number and was surprised to hear a continuous tone as though it were disconnected.

"Not paid the bill, Castle?" she muttered to herself as she ended that call as well.

She tried his cell again then left a message just in case he was on another call. She also sent him a text to call her urgently feeling certain that would be in contact with her soon.

When an hour had passed and she still hadn't heard from the crime writer, a small part of her started to worry. After checking the time of the call from the box, she was certain now that it had been him who had tried to contact her…but Demming had answered instead. She guessed that was why he had put the phone down but it didn't explain why he hadn't called her back now.

She looked over at the silent cell phone on her desk and pursed her lips slightly as she internally debated whether to call Alexis or not. She didn't want to worry the young girl unnecessarily but she also wanted to be sure that Castle was alright. Seconds later, she'd brought up Alexis' number and was listening to it ringing.

"Hey, Alexis, it's Kate Beckett, how are you?" she greeted a trifle guardedly once the call was answered.

"Hi Detective," Castles' daughter replied, her tone one of surprise. "I'm good, thanks. Is anything wrong?"

"No, no," Beckett hastily assured her. "I'm just trying to get a hold of your dad but I can't seem to get through on his cell."

"Oh, you won't," Alexis informed her in a relieved tone. She'd been concerned that something had happened to her father. "It's broken and the house phone is out of order too. Dad's still waiting for it to be fixed. Is everything OK?"

Beckett let out her own small sigh of relief and smiled. "Everything's fine. I just wanted to pick his brains about a tricky case we have on at the moment, that's all," she lied smoothly.

"Oh, it's a shame you can't contact him then," Alexis told her ruefully. "I think he's bored up there all alone."

Beckett frowned. "Alone?" she repeated slowly. "But, I thought Gina was with him?"

"What?" the red-haired girl queried incredulously. She laughed. "No. Gina's still in New York, Detective. I've spoken to her a few times and Dad would've told me if he'd taken her with him anyway. She'd drive him nuts! He wouldn't be able to stand it."

"I see," Beckett replied absently as her brain went into overdrive about what that snippet of information could possibly mean. Either Alexis didn't know that her father was back with Gina…or, more likely, Castle had lied to her.

Hearing Alexis trying to gain her attention down the phone, Beckett pulled herself together enough to exchange pleasantries and ring off. Sitting back in her chair, she ignored the hustle and bustle of the precinct around her and thought long and hard about everything that had happened in the past few weeks. All that her friends had told her suddenly seemed to make sense and she realised that she'd been completely blind to Castles' feelings.

Some detective she was! Couldn't even see what was right in front of her even with the evidence.

She stood up suddenly, her chair screeching across the floor in her haste to rise. Esposito and Ryan looked up from what they were doing in concern but Beckett had already walked over to Captain Montgomery's office and knocked on the door.

"Sir, I'd like to take those vacation days I just gave back," she told her boss after he'd waved her into his office.

Montgomery looked surprised. "OK, when do you need them?" he asked.

"Now. Today," the detective replied quickly. "There's something I have to do."

"I thought you had a case on?" the captain queried with a frown.

"Ryan and Esposito are taking care of it. It's just a case of catching the killer. Demming's working it with them, so it's in safe hands," she replied matter-of-factly before asking, "Can I have the days, Sir? Please?"

Montgomery looked at her with narrowed eyes as he pondered over her request, noting the slight flush to her cheeks and slightly hurried breathing. It obviously meant a lot to her, he mused. Abruptly, he nodded his head. "You can have them," he decided as he gazed down at his paperwork. "And tell Castle I said, 'Hi'," he added as he looked up at her again with a wry smile on face.

Beckett stared at her captain and couldn't help but smile back. "I will," she told him before leaving his office and heading back over to her desk. She gathered up her belongings and took her pile of paperwork over to her colleagues. She dumped the files on Ryan's desk and he looked up at her aghast.

"What's all this?" he wanted to know.

"Just a little something for you both to get on with while I'm on vacation," she told him brightly before turning away and heading towards the elevator.

"Vacation?" Esposito repeated in surprise as he sat up straighter in his chair. "Where?"

Normally Beckett wouldn't have told him but he'd been one of the first people to give her a heads up when it came to Castle so she figured it'd be only right to let him know.

Looking back, she gave them a quick smile. "The Hamptons," she revealed before turning away again and continuing on her way. "See you in a few days," she called back over her shoulder.

The two men watched her leave with matching grins then Esposito turned to Ryan and held out his hand expectantly. "That's twenty you owe me, Bro," he said cheerfully.

The smile abruptly left Ryans' face and a peeved expression took its place. Retrieving the money from his wallet, he handed it over with a pained sigh. One day he'd actually win a damned bet.

END CHAPTER 3


	4. Chapter 4

Beckett surveyed the motel room she'd booked for the night with satisfaction. It had cost more than she'd liked to have paid, but considering where she was, it wasn't surprising. She dumped her holdall on the bed then opened it up to get out her toiletries. She'd made good time driving there, but it was late and she was tired. All she wanted was to take a shower and get some much-needed sleep.

She got into the shower and turned it on. Relishing the feel of the hot water as it cascaded down her body, she felt the tension of the past few weeks gradually slip away. On the drive up there, she'd thought back over all the things that had happened between her and Castle and had actually been amazed at how dumb she'd been. She was almost embarrassed to call herself a detective.

Even Agent Jordan Shaw, who wasn't with them that long, had warned her of the writer's feelings but she'd stubbornly refused to believe it. In Shaws' own words…she 'wasn't' ready to see it yet'.

But she was now.

More than ready.

She smiled to herself. Castle didn't know what the hell was about to hit him.

The water started to feel cooler and so she turned it off then stepped out. After drying herself off, she climbed into bed and for the first time in months, sleep was quick in coming.

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Castle heard a knock at his front door and frowned in irritation as he quickly finished typing out his sentence. He was almost at the end of his novel now and, as usual, the urge to complete it had driven him on throughout the night. Now, with just a few more paragraphs to go, the last thing he wanted was an interruption. The temptation to ignore whoever was at the door was strong but when the rapping came again he reluctantly stood up then gingerly tried to stretch out the kinks in his back and arms before heading over to answer it.

Upon returning to the house after the failed call to Beckett, he'd begun writing and hadn't stopped for anything more than the odd glass of water and a sandwich around eleven p.m. He hadn't even gone for his usual walk, which was probably why he felt so achy now.

The knocking came yet again, more insistent this time and he automatically hurried his pace. When he finally opened the door and saw who was standing there, he was suddenly very glad he hadn't ignored the knock.

"Thank God!" he exclaimed as he all but dragged the telephone repairman across the threshold. "The phone's in there. You, Sir, are a life saver."

The young, blond man gave the writer a faintly quizzical look, then continued on through the house to do his job. While he was working, Castle went back to his laptop and concentrated on finishing his book.

It took the repair guy a little over and hour to complete his work and by then Castle had also finished. He just needed to compose a dedication but that was proving harder than he'd thought and so he'd made himself some coffee and a late breakfast while he ruminated over the wording.

"It's all done," the repairman announced as he walked into the kitchen and handed Castle a form to sign.

The writer quirked an eyebrow wondering if that wouldn't be a good a dedication as any before signing the paper and thanking the man.

After he'd gone, the author went to the phone and picked up the handset, smiling as the sound of the dial tone hummed down the receiver at him. The pleasure was short lived, however, when he realised that as much as he wanted to speak to Alexis, he knew he needed to get things sorted out with Gina first. He dialled her number and spoke to her assistant. Apparently, Gina was 'out' of the office again. He instructed the young woman to tell his ex-wife, upon her 'return', that his phone was now working and he was looking for another publishing company when he got back to New York.

He rang off and, as he'd expected, it took no more than a couple of minutes before he got a call back. Gina was on fine form, apologising profusely for the 'misunderstanding' about the telephone and doing everything she could to stroke his ego while simultaneously trying to diffuse the situation. Castle saw through her charade but played along after giving her a piece of his mind. He finished the call and put the phone down with a frown.

Truth was, they were a leading publishing company and he was reluctant to leave but he honestly wasn't sure if he could work with his ex-wife any longer. Purposely leaving him cut off like that was potentially dangerous. Anything could've happened to him but, apparently, his book was more important to her than him. He knew she was ambitious but he hadn't realised quite how much until that moment and it gave him pause for thought.

Maybe making good his threat and checking out different publishers wouldn't be such a bad idea after all.

He yawned suddenly and a wave of tiredness crashed over him as the all-nighter followed by the emotional drain of his anger directed at his ex-wife hit him all at once. He rubbed a weary hand over his face, grimacing slightly at the feel of day old stubble. He really needed a shave and a shower. Yawning again, he decided to sit down on the couch for a few minutes and finish his coffee.

As he sat there, he leaned his head back and shut his eyes, allowing himself to relax a little now that the book was complete. Moments later, drink still in hand, Castle fell asleep.

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Beckett awoke to the sunlight spilling in through a crack in the motel curtains. She squinted sleepily at the bright light then reached over to the nightstand to grab her father's watch. Her eyes took a moment or two to focus but when they did, she sat bolt upright with a gasp. It was after ten! She couldn't remember ever having slept that late before.

She scrambled out of bed and went into the bathroom. Thirty minutes later, she left her room and headed out to find some place to eat. She'd seen a diner that looked quite nice the evening before and drove down the road a few blocks until she saw it again. After parking up, she went in and had some coffee and pancakes. She paid her bill then got back in the car and took the road that would lead to Castle's house.

As she drew nearer, she started to feel a little nervous and began to doubt, not only Castle, but herself as well. What on earth had possessed her to just turn up unannounced like this? What if everyone was wrong about what they thought they could see? What if Castle laughed in her face? What if she just turned around, went back to New York and waited until his phone was fixed? A phone call would be just as good, right? Right?

She arrived at his house and stopped the car, feeling her nervousness grow as she took in the impressive architecture of the building. It was large, traditional style house that she guessed had around five or six bedrooms. Biting her bottom lip, she drew in a deep breath and let it out as she exited the car. She took a couple of steps then stopped and breathed deeply again before straightening her shoulders and walking swiftly to the door with a look of determination on her face.

Raising her hand she knocked on the door loudly and waited.

And waited.

And waited…

Nothing.

She knocked a little louder this time but it soon became apparent that Castle was out even though his car was on the drive. Feeling more than a little deflated, she took a couple of steps back and automatically scanned the windows to see if she could see any movement. When that drew a blank, she slowly started to walk back to her car.

Moments later, she stopped and turned. Walking around the side of the house she saw the private beach that belonged to the writer and wondered if he were taking a walk. A smile appeared on her face as an idea grew and she hurried back to her car and got in. Firing the engine she drove away and headed for the motel.

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Castle murmured sleepily and stirred as a distant knocking sound partially roused him from his slumber. His eyes flickered open and it took him a few seconds to get his bearings as he gradually awoke.

"Ugh! Dammit!" he suddenly exclaimed as it registered in his foggy brain that the coffee mug he'd been holding had tipped as he slept and spilled its contents all over his trousers.

He stood up and put the cup down before peeling the soggy fabric from his leg only to have it slap back again as soon as he let it go. With a huff of annoyance, he was about to undo his trousers when he heard the sound of a car engine starting up on his drive. He looked puzzled for a moment. He hadn't heard anyone knock…

Then it hit him!

A knocking is what had woken him from his sleep. He headed over to the door, grimacing slightly at the uncomfortable feel of the wet material clinging to his skin, and opened it up. He was just in time to catch the very back end quarter of a dark coloured car turning out of his drive and then disappear behind the thick row of shrubbery and trees that lined his property.

If he didn't know better, he would've sworn that was Beckett's car. But he did know better and he was really going to have to get it into his head that she had no interest in him whatsoever. This constant pining for a woman he couldn't have, had to stop. Now!

He slammed the door, briefly wondering who had been to visit then decided that they would come back if it were anything important. Right now, he needed a shower.

Twenty minutes later, Castle was back downstairs feeling refreshed and clean. He'd decided against having a shave figuring that he wasn't going to be seeing anyone and so there wasn't a need. Of course, the idea that the stubble had added to his 'rugged handsomeness' had never entered his head…

Going to his laptop, he got himself back online and checked his emails. Then he sorted himself out a replacement cell phone. After that was done, he called his mother and then Alexis to let them know that he was contactable once more.

"Have you spoken to Detective Beckett?" Alexis asked him once they'd exchanged pleasantries.

"No. Why?" Castle queried in puzzlement.

"I think she has a problem with a case," his daughter told him.

"Really? How would you know that?" he asked in surprise.

"Because she called me yesterday when she couldn't get hold of you, so I told her about your phone trouble," Alexis revealed matter-of-factly. After a moments pause, she continued in a distinctly unsure tone, "Dad…was Gina the person you were hoping was going keep you company this summer because Detective Beckett seemed to think she was there with you?"

Castle sighed. He knew running his mouth off like that was going to come back and bite him on the ass.

"No, Alexis, I can assure you that Gina was the last person I was thinking of when I told you that," he told her dryly.

He wondered what his daughter would say if he admitted that he'd actually been thinking about Beckett that day. He smiled to himself, he knew she'd probably be pleased.

"Oh good," she said, the relief in her voice palpable down the phone. "I told Detective Beckett you alone there, but I thought I'd ask just in case."

Castle's stomach dropped and his smile was rapidly replaced with an expression of panic as the realisation of what his daughter had revealed hit home.

"You said what, Alexis?" he asked, his voice clearly strained. He could hear someone else talking to his daughter in the background and tried to get her attention again. "Alexis? Sweetie?"

"Oh, sorry, Dad, but I've got to go," his daughter told him hurriedly. "Love, you. Bye."

"No, no, no!" he objected loudly but Alexis had already rung off.

Dejectedly he put down the phone and let out another sigh before closing his eyes and shaking his head. How was he ever going to go back to the precinct now? The answer was obvious…he couldn't. Not now that Beckett knew he'd lied about Gina. He couldn't face her after pulling a stunt like that. Why had he ever thought that his stupid plan would work? As if Beckett would really see him walk away with Gina and be even vaguely jealous. What had he been thinking?

Opening his eyes, he stood up and walked over to the back door to stare out across the beach. He'd missed his walk the day before, it'd be good to go out and get some fresh air – maybe it'd stop the awful churning his stomach seemed to have started ever since he knew that his ruse had been uncovered.

Hands in pockets, he headed out and followed his usual path along the sand to the shoreline. He'd left the cream shirt he was wearing undone and the gentle breeze caused the sides to flap out behind him, exposing his tanned torso to the hot sun.

He mulled over what Alexis had said about Beckett needing his help on a case but he doubted that she'd be eager to talk with him now. He guessed that she'd go to Demming instead – although why she hadn't in the first place was puzzling.

He glanced out to sea, then stopped walking and looked again as something caught his eye. At first he didn't see anything and was about to move on, thinking that it was just his imagination, when he saw it again. A fair few feet out, someone was swimming towards the shore with long, powerful strokes.

Castle frowned slightly and glanced around the beach until he saw a pale blue blanket and a red beach bag laying on the sand off to his left. He turned back to the ocean and saw that the swimmer was getting nearer. He waited a few more seconds until they were within a few feet and then called out to them.

"Excuse me, this is a private beach and…" he began, only to have the rest of his sentence die on his lips as the person, or rather, woman, slowly stood up and started walking towards him.

It couldn't be…

Castle felt the air literally leave his lungs as the lithe female emerged from the sea wearing a tiny black bikini. The sun glistened off of the droplets of sea water that ran down her body as his gaze slowly travelled upwards, taking in the toned legs and trim stomach before halting briefly on her barely covered ample chest. Her arms moved and his eyes followed as she raised her them above her head and smoothed back her long, wet, chestnut coloured hair with her hands. His gaze then settled on her face and he stared in shock as he still couldn't quite believe whom his eyes were actually seeing…

"B-Beckett?"

END CHAPTER 4


	5. Chapter 5

It wasn't often that Richard Castle was lost for words, but seeing Detective Kate Beckett standing before him wet and in a black bikini…and did he mention wet? Well, it had pretty much robbed him of his breath, let alone coherent thought and basic language.

He blinked a couple of times, just in case she was a sleep-deprived hallucination, but she remained in the same spot, looking back at him with a sultry smile, showing loads of flesh…and wet. He knew he really needed to say something other than squeaking out her name in surprise, but to do that he had to first close his gaping mouth. His jaw was hanging so low he was certain that he'd be able to brush sand from his beard-roughened chin.

With Herculean effort, he finally shut his mouth but the capability of speech still eluded him as his mind raced over the many reasons why the woman he loved was here before him and not back in New York with her boyfriend.

The thought of Demming was as sobering as an ice-cold bucket of water thrown over a drunk. For the first time since he'd seen Beckett, he tore his gaze away and looked over his shoulder half expecting to see the other man standing behind him because, really, the sexy smile she had on her face couldn'tpossibly be for him.

Could it?

With Demming nowhere to be seen, he turned back and looked at her again. The smile was still there and unquestionably directed at him. He swallowed hard, feeling as though he'd skipped a few very important plot development pages of a book and was now desperately trying to skim back through them in order to catch up.

Good thing he knew how to speed-read.

As his writer's mind went into overdrive, weaving the plotline of what could have happened the past few weeks, a feeling of wonder infused his entire being. Demming was obviously out of the picture and, just as obviously, she wasn't here on a case. So that left only one option…

She was here for him.

Lots of questions suddenly swirled around in his head, clamouring to get out at the same time. As he desperately tried to sort through them all, two uncertainties kept forcing themselves to the fore.

Did she feel the same way about him as he did her? Or was he merely a rebound?

His urgent need to know finally unlocked his vocal chords and he opened his mouth to speak; but Kate got there first…completely flooring him and promptly making him forget anything but her.

"I am so hot," she suddenly groaned.

Castle couldn't agree more. However, instead of making a dry quip about the double meaning in her choice of wording, he ended up making the most unpleasant choking sound as the breathy, almost sexual, tone of her voice went straight to his groin.

He was stunned. He couldn't remember a woman ever having that kind of an immediate effect on his body before. It was amazing and embarrassing all at the same time and he was extremely grateful that this part of the beach was empty because he wasn't quite sure how to deal with it discretely.

Luckily, Beckett began to walk towards the blanket that was laying on the sand a couple of yards away. With her back to him, he was able to gather some control of his unruly body and after squirming uncomfortably for a few seconds, he felt ready to speak again.

Until, that is, she bent down to retrieve her towel…

Beckett was enjoying herself. The look on Castle's face the moment he realised it was her rising out of the sea had been priceless. It had also chased any doubts she had about his feelings for her away. She'd never had a man look at her with such complete adoration before. Nor had she seen Castle at such an obvious loss for words. It was a heady feeling that made her want to go and grab him then kiss him senseless.

But not before she had a little fun with the situation first.

Raising her left hand, she pushed some of her hair away from her face then closed her eyes as she trailed her fingers down the side of her cheek and neck before coming to rest lightly on her chest.

"I am so hot," she groaned, purposely adding a breathless tone to her voice.

The resulting choking sound her potential lover made, had her smiling to herself as she walked over to her blanket. He was so easy at times. Especially when it came to her, she realised…and she wasn't averse to using that power for her own ends.

Reaching the blanket, she bent over and rummaged through her beach bag, pulling out her towel and a bottle of sun cream.

The sound of the strangled, "Oh, dear God!" that was emitted from the man behind, sent a thrill of feminine satisfaction through her entire body. Turning around, she saw that he was biting his bottom lip as if to stop any further noise coming from his mouth and that his hands were clasped together in front of his groin.

A knowing smile graced her features as she raised her hand and dangled the bottle of sun lotion for him to see.

"Will you cream me up?" she asked, all innocence.

Castle stared back her and blinked.

He knew she was saying it to get a rise from him. Hell, she couldn't be any more blatant! And yet still he remained dumb. Words were his life, damn it! True, Beckett had caught him cold, but he was certain he should've recovered quicker than he had for heaven's sake.

Giving himself a mental slap up the side of the head, he drew in a deep breath then let it out slowly as his eyes, once again, took in the loveliness that was Katherine Beckett. A new resolve settled over him as his brain finally caught up with his body and decided to enter the game.

She may have started this, but he was sure as hell was going to finish it…

"Sure," he replied at last, pleased at how even his voice sounded. He took a couple of steps towards her then held out his hand for the bottle before purposefully looking her up and down. It was with some satisfaction that he saw her fidget slightly under his intense observation then raise her towel a little to shield some of her body from his avid gaze. He quirked an eyebrow at her reaction and gave her a half smile as he queried in an evocative tone, "Just your back…or all over?"

Just as he knew she would, Beckett didn't shy away from his challenge. He heard her slight intake of breath then saw the way she straightened up slightly, head raising in silent acknowledgment as she deliberately moved her towel away from her body and stepped right up into his space.

Her face was inches from his as she smiled demurely then replied softly, "Why don't we start with my back and see where we go from there, OK, Rick?"

He only had to move a couple of inches and his lips would be on hers. Game over. But he didn't want it to end yet, even though her use of his first name had sent his body into overdrive. Pulling back a little in order to resist temptation, he adopted a cocky grin.

"Oh, I have plenty of ideas where to go from there, Kate, believe me. Writer here, remember?"

"Well, let's just hope that you can live up to your books then," she retorted smoothly.

He felt the bottle being pushed into his hand and looked down. Her fingers touched his for the merest second too long then she left him feeling bereft as she released her hold and turned away.

He slowly exhaled the breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding then followed her over to the blanket and watched as she lay the towel upon it. Briefly, she glanced over her shoulder and gave him another smile before settling herself down on her front.

Castle dropped to his knees by her side and cast an appreciative look along the length of her nearly nude body. He still couldn't quite believe that she was actually here and this was happening. For two years he'd wanted to touch this woman so badly that he'd physically ached from the need at times. And now, here she was, giving him the green light to do just that and yet, he hesitated.

The two questions that he'd pushed aside suddenly raised their ugly heads once more and he had to know their answers before he started down a path that could very well end badly for him.

Obviously, if she felt the same way as he did, then there wasn't a problem.

If he were just convenient because her romance with Demming had failed…well, that was a whole different ballgame. Although, he had to admit, with her laid out in front of him like this, he was sorely tempted to just to say 'the hell with it'. He'd take pretty much whatever she wanted to offer him and deal with the pain of her leaving afterwards.

Still internally debating, he opened the bottle of sun protection and squeezed a liberal amount of the lotion onto the palm of his left hand. He put the bottle down then rubbed his hands together to coat them both with the cream before reaching forward to apply it to her slender back.

Scant inches away, he stopped as a sudden awful thought hit him. What if this were just payback for him lying to her?

He frowned then shook his head. Beckett wouldn't have let it get this far if she were merely playing a joke. Would she?

"Are you actually ever going to put that stuff on me?" the detective suddenly asked, cutting through his internal argument.

Automatically, he placed his hands on her back and began smoothing the lotion over her shoulders in slow circles. Her low hum of approval had him make his way slowly down her torso, his touch more of a massage rather than a mere application of sun protection.

The feel of her warm skin was amazing and Castle could feel his rational mind begin to slip away from him as his emotions and body took over.

He had to stop this…and now.

Snatching his hands away, he surprised himself by letting out an involuntary groan of protest at the loss of contact.

Shaking his head in disbelief, he ran a shaky hand through his hair as he sat back on his heels and contemplated the situation. He'd been kidding himself when he thought he'd be able to settle for anything less than love from the woman laying before him and now he just had to know her reasons for being there.

"Something wrong?" Beckett queried, her voice slightly muffled from where she was face down on the blanket.

Ignoring her question, Castle took a steadying breath then demanded solemnly, "Why are you here, Kate?"

Unable to miss the gravity of his tone, Beckett looked over her shoulder at him in confusion. "You asked me, remember?" she teased, trying to lighten the moment.

Castle didn't laugh. "And what about Demming?" he enquired softly.

"We broke up," she replied after a slight hesitation.

Castle noted the pause and felt a cold dread begin to crawl its way up his spine. "Did you end it…or did he?"

This time Kate turned onto her side then sat up to face him directly so that she could try and read his expression. She wasn't successful and, not for the first time, did she wonder what on earth was going on inside his overactive brain.

"What does that matter?" she countered, finally.

Castle let out a heavy sigh then stood up and turned away, but not before Beckett caught the momentary flash of anguish on his features.

"Castle? What's wrong?" she asked in concern as she, too, arose.

The writer noticed that she'd reverted back to his last name and felt even more of an idiot for even fleetingly believing that his dreams might have been coming true.

"So, is this a rebound thing or just payback for me lying about Gina?"

Beckett shook her head as she tried to keep up with the tangent his brain had apparently gone off on. Grabbing a hold of his arm, she turned him to face her.

"What the hell are you talking about?" she asked, at a complete loss.

"Oh, come on, Detective, don't play games! I know Alexis told you about Gina. Is this…" He paused and gestured to her bikini-clad body. "This, just a way to mess with my head? To tease me then just walk away?"

Beckett felt ire begin to rise within her at his outrageous accusation and angry tone. She released his arm and took a step forward. "Do I look like I'm walking away?" she demanded tersely.

Castle moved forward too and shook his head in frustration. "So tell me why you're here then, Kate!" he all but shouted at her, obviously at the end of his tether.

They were close now and Beckett could almost physically feel the tension that radiated off him in waves. Maybe she'd gone a little too far; been a little too evasive in her answers. It was ingrained in her; she never gave too much away. Never left herself open to anyone. Maybe she'd have to start…

"Because I want to be with you," she replied calmly as though he were stupid for thinking anything else.

Castle's mouth dropped open in surprise. "What?"

He hadn't been expecting her to say something like that. OK, true, she hadn't declared her undying love for him but even so, for Beckett to admit what she had was…huge.

She closed the remaining distance between them then lifted her arms and placed her hands on his bare chest with a sultry smile. Moving her hands up, she slid them under the collar of his open shirt and clasped them together at the back of his neck. The action brought their bodies flush against each other as she raised her gaze to his face.

"I said, I want to be with you," she reiterated slowly. Purposefully.

The feel of her warm body pressed against his was the wake up call he needed. He finally believed that she was here for him.

It wasn't a game.

It wasn't a rebound.

It was real.

Suddenly, her lips were on his, gentle and hesitant. Still unsure of his reaction.

He responded instantly, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her even tighter to him. He deepened the kiss, relishing the sound of the muffled groan she made as he took control.

They broke apart, each breathing a little faster than before. Seconds later he was kissing her again, the months of pent up passion finally being given a partial chance to be sated.

When they parted this time, Castle sported a happy grin.

"I feel I should say something profound but the most I can come up with is, 'Wow'."

"That is profound," Kate contradicted with a smile before adding, "If you're five. You'll have to do better."

The writer laughed and nodded in agreement then suddenly declared, "Why, there's a wench! Come on and kiss me, Kate!"

He leaned in to capture her lips but Beckett raised her eyebrows and she placed a hand on his shoulder to hold him back a moment. "Shakespeare? Really?"

Castle shrugged. "Always steal from the best," he murmured before kissing her soundly.

The kiss ended then Kate pulled away from his embrace and walked backwards to the blanket, a seductive look on her face.

"You know, I've never made love on a beach before."

Castle drew in a sharp breath, not only at the implication but her choice of words too.

'Made love.'

"Neither have I," he admitted, softly.

He followed her to the blanket and they lay down in each other's arms.

After all the misunderstandings and unspoken words, they were finally together as one.

No regrets.

THE END.


End file.
